oh man...

I can't get out of this.

Can I be any sadder over the passing of someone I'm not related to?

I feel like someone whom I loved dearly for 15 long years left me and it's killing me. It's like being punched directly in the heart. It gives me the lumpy feeling in my throat.

Yes, people I'm still talking about M.J.

I know it's funny that I'm still writing about this, but I honestly can't think of a better way to release my hurt and anger and loneliness. I never met this man. I was never near him and I've lost any chance of it.

I feel sorry that for a while I had doubts about him. I laughed at him like everybody does. It's painful.

There'll never be another him, not even close to him. God has blessed us an amazing, extraordinary performer and words fail me to describe his greatness.

(Shit! I can't believe I'm crying again)

I think what saddens me is that he's had everything, wealth and fame but he was never truly happy, he cannot be normal and happy like any regular folk because everybody needed something from him. Everybody wanted The King of Pop but nobody really accepted Michael Jackson as he is.

I am distraught.

I don't know what to say.

I'm just gonna think I'm blessed to have known his music.

The Greatest Performer to have walked the Planet.

Moonwalk with us in heaven!

Hats off to you!

Journey well MJ...

I am literally, crying my heart out... I was devastated when I read the breaking news today.

"Michael Jackson, King of Pop dies at 50"

My mom texted me immediatly to ask me if I was okay... I know people will think that this is weird, you won't think so if you know me... I would spend most of my teenage years watching VHS tapes of Michael Jackson concerts, interviews listened to his music. I would save my school and birthday money to buy his cassette tapes. I cried all night on '96 when I was not able to watch his HIStory concert because we cannot afford it.

I was just so sad. It was sad that he died a very lonely man...

I am so sad...

So sad.

Journey well MJ...

You'll be missed.

end of an era...

I know myself.

As everyone should know themselves... I fall hard but once I've fallen out, I can't force myself to stay in a relationship.

For a while now (read as 1 week) I've been feeling exhausted, I'm no longer interested, I get irritated by the tiny things... And as much as I hate to admit it. It only means one thing. I'm falling out of love.

It's been 4 years and I can't just blurt out a decision. So I need to think about it. If this feeling stays for another 3 weeks. I have to let it go.

Whew... How will I say it?