May you live forever

Im usually ur everyday happy-go-lucky person. I'm not the best but I know I'm good. I know what I deserve and I usually get it.

But if somebody else thinks otherwise and if that somebody is way bigger than me, I'm not sure how I can prove my worth, when despite everything I've shown and done they dwell and they choose to see the one mistake I did in a very long time.

I'm deeply hurt by what's happening. Hurt, because I feel helpless. I feel that I'm bound to lose everything I've tried to keep. To be very honest, I'm still where I am not because I love what I'm doing, I'm here because I badly badly badly need to be here, but my place now lies in a very uneven balance. I used to defend them when I know someone (even myself) is at fault, but I am never a fan of kicking somebody when they are down and I see this is the game now and I don't think I can be in it.

If this is some sort of a lesson, this is surely not a good way of teaching it.

When I feel bad I curse - a lot! But when I'm hurt and angry and sad, I get very weak and I get so consumed by it that I can't find the energy to cuss anymore. So here's to everyone who kicks people when they are at they're lowest.

I hope you live forever, since you will not die in honor, I just hope you live forever.