I'm not moving, I'm not being productive. I'm being perfectly still. I'm never a risk taker, risk takers (most of the time lang) are people who know that whatever happens they're going to be fine, maybe they came from a well to do family na money is not a problem o talagang mga vagabond lang.Ü.
Sure there are times I hope for more, but that's as far as I go, I hope and I envision myself owning or becoming someone then I stop there. Instead of using that as a motivation I just keep it in my head, because honestly, (to me) it's better when it stays there (less effort, less disappointments). You don't lose what you have but you can still keep the dream (maybe do it later). Usually we say contentment is good? Not in my case, it becomes a rock holding me down not allowing me to achieve what I deserve.
So what am I saying? Basically? that I crave for the excitement and the deadlines and the fear of being late because you're 2 minutes from making it and you work twice as hard to make it on time. I WANT TO BE BUSY. I want to have 3 hours of sleep and I want to not eat on time because I'm working on a project. I want to not be available next Saturday. If someone asks me what I'm doing this weekend, I want to look at my organizer and see a list and if someone asks me to meet them I want to think hard on what day and what time I'll be free.'
Adrenalin rush ba-ga! Boring!
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